Wine of the Week: Auslese Rieslings

So technically this is the wine of last week, but hey, whatever.

I like Rieslings generally, but when speaking to our wine manager, he told me to try some Rieslings from some region or whatever that started with an A.  Apparently there are many associations to Rieslings and the letter A, as a Google Search taught me.  So, as usual, I went to Whole Foods and found this wine that started with an A -- Auslese, sure why not?  It proved to be the best Riesling I've had by far and for $13.99 it was reasonable.  I also happened to find a similar bottle for only $8.99 at World Market.  This article from the New York Times discusses Auslese Rieslings.  Personally I think it has a fresh taste.  It's not exactly crisp, but a nice blend of sweet and smooth.  It's a very sip-able wine that can be enjoyed as a stand alone beverage or with lighter foods like fruits and cheese.   If you are a fan of sweet white wines, I would go with this one!

Viral Viernes: It's Friday, Bee-yitches

If you haven't seen this yet, you're welcome.  Happy Friday, Bee-yitches!

Viral Viernes: I Just Never Get Sick of These

Thursday: Not Quite The Weekend

It's Thursday, but I wish it were Saturday.  I don't want to go to work tomorrow.  I want to sleep in and do nothing with no obligations to or for anyone.  I just looked up a bunch of weird and creepy stuff online (don't ask me why) and am too freaked out to actually go to bed.  So I'll probably have to watch at least 2 episodes of The Office and/or Modern Family to be able to go to sleep without having nightmares  Too bad it's already 2 am.  But on the brightside, this stuff is really funny.  So check it out and laugh.  It's almost Friday!

http://www.toptenz.net/top-10-funny-demotivational-posters-feauring-animals.php

Maybe You Should Put That In The Fridge?

I am obsessed with Whole Food's Cranberry Tuna.  I never used to like tuna growing up.  My mom would get it and I found it to be one of the most revolting foods a human could consume.  And then my good friend Sir Roland Toland introduced me to this stuff.  He has an impeccable taste in food and so I found myself closing my eyes and squeemishly giving it a shot.  Now this delectable combination of cranberry, tuna, onions and other ingredients is gonna run me broke (thanks a lot, Whole Paycheck).  It seems healthy but I have a feeling it's loaded with Mayo and actually really bad for you.  But Whole Foods sells it and so it must be good for you...right?  Well I'm completely indecisive of what constitutes as good diet food right now.  I ate chicken last weekend in an attempt to rid my fridge of all things NOT on my diet (vegetarianism).  Then I ended up eating chicken because it was all they had for lunch on Monday.  (Well, there was salad too but I usually like to accompany my salad with something additional.  And was that chicky deeeellllish!)  So I'm aiming more for food that isn't fried or genuinely bad for you.  I went to kickboxing Monday and have every intention of doing better at working out and how I eat.  Naked Juice is also on the list.  My favorite is the acai machine.  I just love the taste (oddly enough).  If they weren't so damn expensive, I'd probably try different flavors, but I'm not spending nearly $4 on something I can't handle more than 2 sips of. 

Speaking of things I can't take more than 2 sips of, I let that bottle of Cotes du Rhone aerate.  Still terrible.  I dumped the thing.  Too bad because the label was pretty.  I did, however, buy another bottle of the "Robertson Winery."  Soooo:

Good:

Bad:

Lesson:

Never buy cheap red wine from France, but feel free to buy kind-of-cheap red wine from South Africa.

Other Lesson:
Cranberry Tuna is good, Whole Foods & Naked Juice is still expensive, but those yuppies seem to be skinny betches so I'll give it a shot.  Just don't make me give up chicken.

Muay Thai Kickboxing

Nearly a year ago, I bought these kickboxing classes off of dealfind.  I started them right around Christmas, but between all the holidays and being gone I hadn't been in over a month.  I really like it though, which surprised me.  I have taken dance classes, cardio kickboxing and all sorts of work out classes and hated most of them.  Those pretentious skinny bitches who only ever talk about their eating habits and yoga stretches while sporting workout clothes that match their over-priced water bottles make me want to vomit and then go eat something to make up for my unnecessary vomiting.  Plus, I always feel that working out should serve as a means to acquire genuine skills as opposed to being solely able to say "Omg, I totally went to the gym today!"

The class I'm taking now is not cardio kickboxing, it's learn-how-to-kick-someone's-ass kickboxing.  And I love it.  I pretend that I'm a stunt actress in a movie and in my head, I feel like I look like this:

However, in reality I'm well aware that I look more like this:

But that's okay because I actually want to go back.  Even though I'm no champion fighter, there's something about it that is pleasantly aggressive.  It makes me feel tough and I just want to do it.  I think it mostly has to do with the fact that it feeds into my on-going fantasies that I'm a secret agent with near-super-human abilities.  And I can stand in the back and no one's judging me because they're all too busy being mediocre themselves.  Well except for those advanced guys who I wouldn't even try to run from.  I would just curl up into a ball and pray they'd knock me out quickly.  But in the fantasy world inside my head I immediately go to the unrealistic scenario: wouldn't it be bad ass to have guys like that for friends who walk around and dare people to fuck with you.  "Oh my god, Jessica, who are  those guys?"  Oh those dudes?  The buff ones?  Yeah, they're just these guys I know -- kinda like body guards.  They could snap your neck.  But I mean, it's fine because we're all just really good friends and stuff cuz we do kickboxing together.  You should have seen them take down those 20 guys at the bar last week... That reminds me.  Did I tell you that I just got a new role in this movie? Yeah, I play a secret agent with super-human powers...

Feel Better About Your Diet a la Bacon Boy

If you tell yourself it's true, it will be -- so eat some bacon kids!