Kitty!

This past memorial day weekend I adopted a 6 year old girl.  Her name is Jazmine and she's quite furry with beautiful green eyes.  She likes to jump on things, incidentally into the freezer the other day and the best part is that she's always excited to see me when I get home.  The best part about the fact that she's a cat and not a child is I can fill her water and food and go to work.  While she doesn't help pay the bills like a roommate would, she's excellent company -- enough company I think.  She happens to have an excellent temperament and knows just when to leave me alone.  But she's also not afraid to ask for attention.  I love her dearly even though I've only had her 3 days.  I suddenly look forward to coming home when I used to always feel like home was where I should go because at least I won't spend money there.  I feel the need to keep my apartment clean 1. so she won't eat things she shouldn't or hurt herself on anything and 2. because I feel like she should have a nice place to live.   She already knows that morning is when we we eat and when I get home from work it's time for dinner.  I'm very excited to have her and just maybe I'll even chill out a little bit because now I have a little kitty to focus on instead of bills, work and things that really just don't matter.

It was 90 on Monday and she jumped in the freezer!

How To Be Good At Life?

I read this article this morning talking about a guy who went to a good school, got an "amazing" job and took 6 years to realize that his six-figure career bought him everything he wanted but was killing him.  http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/no-one-cares-that-you-graduated/

It's really good.  It's really honest.  And it's really true.

How many times a week, hell a day, do I think "why do I suck at life?"  I recently opened my May edition of Vogue and read this article about a girl who studied abroad her first semester junior year in Kenya.  She went from student to a woman changing the world.  It reminded me a bit of my spring break trip to Ghana, minus the fact that I'm not engaged to a local, political/social activist, survived malaria and started an entire organization that educates children, provides food, medical care, vaccinations and HIV/AIDS testing to the local Kenyan community.  But we're the same age and when I read things like that and think "why do I suck at life?"  I also thought "why am I excusing myself for sucking at life all the time?"  I wanted to be like her.  She was inspiring.  I stapled the article and stuck it on my fridge.

http://issuu.com/hopetoshine/docs/vogue_feature_shining_hope

I've been tracking it with this very blog -- failed attempts at healthy eating, not wanting to spend money on wine every week, not writing every day.  I spend my time doing things but the whole time I think that I should be doing something else.  Why is that?  If I'm watching tv I think about how I should be cleaning or doing laundry. If I'm doing laundry I think about how much I hate doing laundry but feel "good" about it because it's what I should be doing.  Right now I should be doing dishes instead of writing, only I love writing and reading articles online.  I try to organize my life based on the things I feel like I SHOULD do only to end up doing kinda what I want to do but I punish myself for it.  I'm obsessed with trying to have enough money since it seems everyone I work with makes so much more than me.  I want to help my parents out -- my dad is 71 and still works 12 hr shifts in a factory saying things like "I thought I'd get to retire, but I think I'm going to die in there."  That's kind of depressing.  And my mom doesn't work because my sister is special needs and requires her entire life caring for her -- plus now she is caring for my grandma who is in her late eighties.  My mother hasn't work in nearly 30 years.  So add that to the fact that  I don't have benefits of any kind including insurance, sick days or vacation.  I work hard at what I do only to be told that getting used to make other people money is "just how it is" because I don't have enough work experience and blah blah blah.  But truth be told it makes me really upset.  I have so many ideas, so many things I want to do.  I want to travel, to start my own business (even businesses -- I have multiple ideas I think can be successful).  I want to work to help people whether in government or as part of an NGO or something.  I was excited NATO was coming when other people were terrified that the city would be violently attacked and burned to the ground.

Don't get me wrong, I actually really enjoy what I do and I'm good at it but I'm turning 25 in about a month.  I'm trying to get my shit together finally.  Eat better & exercise regularly because I need to start taking care of my body before things go downhill.  Start doing and not just come up with ideas and let them sit there.  I want to find ways to do everything I want to do.  I want to make sure I don't get caught in the machine that is Corporate America.  Last night I was talking to my aunt on the phone.  She's getting ready to retire.  She worked hard -- endless hours her whole life.  She was a model employee but she said "yes, I have all this money and we are where we are today because of it but I've wasted my whole life."  "Not your whole life," I said.  "You still have plenty to live."  "Yeah, but not much of it."

So I can work and plot and fantasize but the excuses remain.  I can't leave because of my family, I want to get more experience.  It's expensive and uncertain to move or do something else.  While I have more to think of than myself, at the end of the day you have to answer to yourself.  So I ask:  What would the definition of "a good life" be for me?  What are the things I should be doing to make me happy, to be successful and to help others?  I don't want to live a regimented life even though order and consistency is always looked upon with favor.  But it's boring -- to me.  So plain, so regular.

I just need to figure out what it means for ME to be good at life.  And also I should probably quit bitching and just do the dishes already.

The Avengers & Yellow Tail

No, not the adventures of yellow tail.  The Avengers AND Yellow Tail.  Those are the subjects today. 

I went to see The Avengers opening weekend.  It was pretty good for your typical Marvel movie, but a bit long.  Two and a half hours that could have been one and a half, two at the most.   Robert Downey, Jr. (Ironman) & Chris Hemsworth (Thor) stole the show with their humor and delivery.  One of my favorites was a scene where they are in the woods after Thor has been arguing with his brother.  Thor's character speaks in a very Olympian and official kind of way and so "Ironman" says to him "What is this, Shakespeare in the woods?"  I was laughing 5 minutes after it happened.  You just had to be there, I guess.  The other characters were good but I do have to say that Scarlet Johansson was pretty much just there for the boys seeing as her talents were kicking people in the face and delivering most of her lines in a sexy-but-bad-ass voice while wearing lots of leather, skin tight outfits.   But to be fair, the red hair looked good on her.  Long story short:  it's a good date movie.  All the action a boy could want and all the good-looking boys a girl could want.  Win-win.

Now, let's get to drinking.

I've been trying to "explore" my wine knowledge and really learn what I like.  Then one day I didn't have a lot of cash and didn't want to read labels.  I walked into Walgreens and grabbed a moscato -- something I know my taste buds wouldn't mind sipping on.  After the day I'd had I was not into the idea of accessing the tanin levels and seeing if it balanced well with the acidity.  I wanted cheap and easy.  I'd seen somewhere that Yellow Tail was one of the highest-selling brands in the market.  I remember being surprised by that fact and figured that since I saw a bottle in front of me, I should see why everyone seems to like this stuff.

That would be because it's cheap and good. 

I've bought another bottle since.  It doesn't taste cheap like even some pricier bottles do or other imported wines under $10.  I can usually find it for right around $6 which isn't much more than the over-priced orange juice I buy.  There's a slight effervescence which is something I really like in a white wine, particularly sweet wines.  I used to drink maybe a half glass of wine at a time and I can drink a half bottle of this.  That's probably not a good habit to form, but the point is that I don't feel like "eeehhh, ok enough of this now."  I enjoy it and say "oh, just a little more -- can't hurt."  I bought a bottle of the "Sweet Red Roo" to try.  I have every confidence in it after how surprisingly tasty their moscato was.

I still have my wine book and I have every intention to continue to explore wines, however I also found an easy go-to when I don't want to think about it.  Or when I'm broke.

The Five Year Engagement Movie Review

I love Judd Apatow movies so if you are weird enough not to, then perhaps you won't like this film.  But if you're like a normal person, chances are you will.  Emily Blunt is adorable as ever and famous faces galore make cameo appearances.  Jason Siegel co-wrote along with starred in this great couple's date film.  I didn't go with a significant other but I definitely had lots of actual laugh-out-loud moments that reflect the well-constructed blend of Hollywood humor smattered over a very realistic situation.  There are scenes that can resonate with everyone, regardless of your current relationship status.  As a singleton I found myself going Mmmm, yep.  Been. There!  For me this is so appreciated. I'm done with the vomit-worthy, stereotypical films that depict a perfect life where a couple's biggest battle is fighting over who gets to do the dishes and rub the other's feet.  You can connect and understand both of the characters and why they feel the way they do.  Frustrations and temptations come into play, not unlike the everyday but what I loved best was something I felt I needed a little reminding of: no one is perfect and therefore no one is really perfect for each other.   Challenges in a relationship can make you hate a person one day -- you get bored, frustrated and even overwhelmed or tempted to over-enjoy another's company.  This film captured all of those aspects and gave a brilliant performance. There's a Knocked Up feel except this time the focus is on an impending marriage instead of an impending baby.  It's not quite as funny as I thought Bridesmaids was but it was well-written, well-directed and well worth seeing!

Liar, Liar

This article from Forbes.com teaches you how to read lies.  Which should be great if your goal is to be a lie-reading secret agent like me. 

The Downsides & Obsessions

I'm trying not to suck at this blogging thing so I figure keeping it up is the main idea right?  Good.  Glad we covered that. 

Aside from listening to "Take Care" by Rihanna & Drake 20 times a day, I've also been really busy working extra hours (for free because I clock out since I don't want to hear it about how I "can't" have overtime and I hate feeling crammed into a work day when there's a shit ton going on) and I finally got Windows of the World, the wine book.  I started reading it and it's awesome.  It's exciting when I read something and already know about it!  It makes me feel a little more legit.  But honestly, I think it'd be a little overwhelming if I'd never heard any of the terms before and hadn't been around serious winos for a year and a half.  I've discovered that the downside of learning more about wines is how quickly I can taste it when it's not good.  I got Sutter Home's Chenin Blanc.  It's not bad, but it tastes cheap, which at $5.99 at Jewel Osco, not really surprising.  And I knew I didn't want to spend $15+ on wine... well that and the Whole Foods & Trader Joe's was closed when I left work a 10pm...

I need to get going on painting my apartment though.  Because I've been sleeping on my couch for nearly 2 weeks and that's sad.  Especially since the areas aren't done aren't near my bed...

Ugh, time to do something before I drink too much wine and become completely unfunctional.

Amazon Dot Drain My Bank Account

I think that amazon.com and I are starting to have an unhealthy relationship.  These "wish list" thingies I'd never bothered with before have become addictive.  When you want something you can add it to a list which you can organize any way you want, have as many as you want and put in various kinds of order.  You can mark items from low, medium or high priority, by low to high or high to low price... all sorts of stuff.  And while that may sound basic it's not.  When you're window shopping you pass lots of things you want, but you don't keep them in a little basket that says "save for later."  So all that stuff you wanted is always there to look at when your tax return makes you feel like a millionaire.  You can make them public or private, you can share them and basically send it out like a gift registry, only you don't need a baby or a wedding (which is nice for us single ladies who have no plans on getting married soon).  And the worst/best part is that when you look at an item, below they give you similar items other people have looked at.  I have 3 lists right now -- one for "shoes" which is also bags, watches and random things no one really needs, home accessories since I'm trying to re-do the place and Christmas/Birthdays.  I like it for Christmas & Birthdays because it helps me lay out items I'm looking to buy this year and financially prioritize.  Plus, it keeps tabs on pricing.  If items go down in price it alerts you "this item had decreased to [price] from [old price].  You save [percentage]!"  Which is good and bad because I often feel like I should buy it when it gets cheaper before it's gone.  But you know, it's nice to know I didn't rush to buy it cuz now look -- it's on sale!  Even more!

This year I've really wanted to get my finances in order while also improving my wardrobe and my shoe collection.  I'm going to be a "real adult" and I wanted to dress and prioritize like one.  Eating healthy, working out, writing, reading, learning about wine...  I wanted to pay down my credit cards to $1000 each (I only have 2!) or less (at the rate I'm going most likely much less).  I wanted to pay all extraneous bills and to have a little savings account.  Rent, student loans, phone bills, electric and cable will never go away but it's nice when any remainder can be put into a savings account instead of looking at my bank statements going "well, just bread this week."  So with that on the horizon I found the most striking watch I'd ever seen.  It's $230 and there's only 2 left in stock which means I need to get it soon.  $230 is the amount I pay each credit card plus what I add to my savings account each month.  The back of my head is at war: "Look at that watch.  How, classy.  How refined.  How exceptional!  What a statement you'd make!" While the other half argues: "Are you stupid?  There are plenty of watches you added to that list that are just as nice, people will still think you're classy and they're UNDER $100.  You could pay off a bill with that money.  No fancy shopping sprees til 2013!  Not to mention the fact that you want to go on vacation next year!  That watch could be half a plane ticket!" ...  "Yeah, but that's one plane ride, this I can have FOREVER!"

And you know how that goes.  So it sits there, in my wish list as I drool on myself at 9 in the morning while not working out.  I just bought some nice clothes and furniture for my apartment this past weekend.  My hard attempts at being financially responsible get squashed by my wish lists and amazon is basically the only online retailer I use (it's easy, they already have my credit card info so I don't have to type in the numbers each time along with my address and I've had good purchase after good purchase so I trust them).  My mom always calls me up and says "hey, can you get something online?"  And right to amazon I go.  She's delighted when we get it in 2-3 days, sometimes sooner because of course I have amazon prime which you pay for annually and you get free 2-day shipping on all purchases that qualify.  I love the dependability, the quality merchandise but I don't love the fact that between whole foods (wine and guacamole!) and amazon.com my bank account is running on fumes. Buuttt that's probably my fault.